When there has been so much love and happiness for someone, it is natural to be reluctant to close such a wonderful chapter in the life, for moving forward is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and sadness. It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or how many glasses of wine you drink, you still convince yourself that he will show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you will go somewhere new and you will meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

It's a long story, something about the violation of expectations and a crushing loss of faith, love, and life. Maybe that's what strikes you most about me. That despite everything I have suffered I can still look at life in the most uncomplicated way. You have never known that kind of faith. It makes you sad that people like me who have lost everything can still be open to love while you, who have lost nothing, are not.